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In May of 2006, something odd happened to me--I was compelled to write a story about two amazing fictional characters who'd captured both my heart and my imagination. I'd watched House, MD since its inception, but lately I'd been watching it with an entirely different focus.
When the show premiered on 16 November, 2004, I was watching. But only because it was a new medical drama, and I'd grown weary of ER, and the only television I was watching regularly at the time was the news, and, well, the promos for House intrigued me just a bit.
I'm going to admit a few things here that anyone reading this might find surprising. Although I myself am on a cane, and am dependent on opioids for the function of my own right leg, I initially noticed neither House's cane nor his frequent Vicodin intake. Really. I didn't know Wilson's and Cuddy's names; nor was I aware that they (or the team) were recurring characters. At the start of the episode Humpty Dumpty, when we see Cuddy jogging, and then having an alarming coughing/choking episode in her kitchen, I was unaware until the episode progressed that she was not a guest actress. And later, after my focus on the show had changed so very radically, and I had begun to write my very first fan fiction, The Devil You Say, I actually had to get on the interwebs and look up the name of her character. I am not making this up--any of it.
So what changed? For the first two seasons, I was watching only for the medicine--the medical mystery, the patient-of-the-week plotline. Oh, sometimes I became a bit caught up in what was going on with some of the regular characters; my first recall of this interest was while watching House go through withdrawal in Detox. But even then, it wasn't until the end of season three that I realized that the fascinating story of the boy and the cat and the termites took place within the same hour as watching the lead character implode before my eyes.
When House, MD premiered, my cane was only a sometime-companion, most notably in the winter. And the ingestion of opioids was not an everyday event, as it is now. But--sometime towards the end of the second season--my personal circumstances changed drastically. The cane became a necessary part of my wardrobe; the pills became a mandatory part of my day. These things led to self-imposed social isolation, as it didn't take me long to realize that relatively young (I'm Hugh Laurie's age) people who are in pain and on canes are virtually invisible to the rest of society. At first, that nonreaction bothered me. Gradually, though, I came to welcome it; I was generally miserable anyway, and being left alone to wallow in that misery suited me just fine.
And then I realized, one night while watching House, that I wasn't alone. That there was a man who knew everything I was enduring, and understood it, because he was going through it as well. Never mind that he was a fictional character--the parallels were too many to ignore. But he had something--someone--that I did not; he had Wilson. He had (during those first two seasons, anyway) a compassionate, empathetic, protective, unconditionally understanding friend. I couldn't imagine it; I had no frame of reference for such a wondrous thing. So I became utterly fascinated with House and Wilson as individuals, and with the House-Wilson dynamic as a whole. I spent a great deal of time thinking about it, envying it, analyzing it. And that led to writing about it.
That first novella, The Devil, You Say, truly wrote itself; it was simply the typing-out of the mental observation and analyses I'd done, and the inferences and conclusions I'd drawn. Nothing else since has been--or ever will be--as easy to write at that one was, because I'd been unknowingly writing it in my head for two seasons.
But the whole point of this essay is that even while I was effortlessly writing that first one, I had a fear--a fear that's even larger today, two and a half years later. I was, and am, afraid that I'm a "One-Note Writer," that all I can successfully write are explorations of House's pain, and of the House-Wilson dynamic, with a little Cuddy thrown in when a third warm body is required for plot purposes.
Except for House, and occasionally watching one of the various incarnations of Law & Order, I still don't watch television--not even too much of the news anymore. I refuse to watch new series. And I discovered that I can't even read House fan fiction written by other authors (with only one exception) because it interferes so completely with my own writing ability; I'm a chameleon, if I allow myself to be. I pick up and steal the other writers' voices. This is unintentional--but it's also unavoidable. So all good House fiction is off-limits to me, if I want to write--and I do.
But my fear is that I've finally reached the limit of variations on a theme. How many times, and in how many different ways, can House be in pain while Wilson stands guard lovingly? In Real Life, the answer would be every day. In fiction, however, I worry that I'm reaching "too repetitive"--if I haven't already.
I'd love to branch out, to fall in love with a second show, a new set of characters--but that isn't going to happen. My brain doesn't have the patience for it, plain and simple. So my challenge now, I suppose, is to attempt to say the same things about the same characters in the same situation--in different ways. Because all my creative eggs are most definitely in the House, MD basket, and that is where they are
destined to stay. Now I must look for ways to keep them from rotting in there....
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-09 06:06 pm (UTC)I'm not really a member of the fic community at large since although I read quite a bit I don't read fic of other shows. A long time ago I read quite a lot of the novels written dealing with the original Star Trek but other than than I never read any of this stuff until House came along. I really don't have any pull towards them. That may limit me a lot but it is simply that nothing else attracts and holds my attention like this show and these two characters.
House and Wilson and their friendship is, for me, a very powerful, personal thing and your "voice" is the one that speaks the clearest and closest to how I see these characters. There are other writers who do come close to how I see them but your voice is the clearest. I have and will probably continue to read others visions of these characters but even then I am continually looking for what I find so easily in your stories. Many times I look at only the summary or the first sentence or two then back out because the characters seem false. Perhaps that's why I see every new story of yours as a delight to read and then read again. It's kept me coming back to these stories often and will continue to do so.
Now that I've muddled through what I wanted to say it's time to stop and just repeat that I look forward to every new piece you post and very often when I have finished a story which leave me with a feeling of "this is not House or Wilson" I turn to your work to get back to what I think of as the "real deal".
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-11-09 06:38 pm (UTC)I discovered that I can't even read House fan fiction written by other authors (with only one exception) because it interferes so completely with my own writing ability; I'm a chameleon, if I allow myself to be.
I understand your concern about how reading others' fics might affect your own writing. When I'm writing, I don't read fic for precisely that reason. When I'm not, I like to see what others are doing. Sometimes it stimulates my own writing, eg if I see in a story an undeveloped idea that I might want to explore.
So my challenge now, I suppose, is to attempt to say the same things about the same characters in the same situation--in different ways. Because all my creative eggs are most definitely in the House, MD basket, and that is where they are destined to stay.
I hear you on being a "one-note" writer. On one hand, you become expert in it, and readers come to expect it from you. OTOH, it eventually becomes stifling, retreading the same old ground. I find it's good to break out and try something different on occasion. Trying a new fandom, genre, or characters, all help me stretch my writing muscles (well, when I'm writing, heh). I also find I can go back to my favorite characters, themes and tropes, and see them in a different light.
It's good to be aware of one's strengths and weaknesses as a writer. We all have preferred characters and themes because we write what resonates with us. There's always room to grow within our favorite sphere--to a point. I, for one, think you'd be very successful at trying other genres or characters in the House fandom. Readers will understand what you're trying to do. I'm not saying you should do anything you don't feel comfortable about--I'm saying that you're too good a writer to limit yourself. You may never know. :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:17 pm (UTC)i suppose that, for me, an occasional foray away from angst and hurt/comfort is a good thing. and i see what you're saying about reading and watching other things. if i ever get my brain back [after a disastrous year on baclofen], i'm likely to try that as well.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-09 07:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-09 08:33 pm (UTC)On a more personal note, if I may: relatively young (I'm Hugh Laurie's age) people who are in pain and on canes are virtually invisible to the rest of society, yeah, ain't that the truth? Jeez! I might as well be f*cking invisible!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-11-09 08:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:23 pm (UTC)umm... excuse me whilst i go vomit. :)
okay, i'm back. you know what's odd? i truly didn't expect commentary on this little essay--and certainly not the thoughtful, thought-provoking comments i got! i so appreciate the reassurance; thanks so much!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-10 02:31 am (UTC)Anyway. Wanting to stretch into unfamiliar territory is healthy, I think? But I can tell you're having fun when I read your stories, even if that fun comes from a very personal place.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-10 05:28 am (UTC)If it's one note, dear, it's a note played by a whole lot of different and unexpected instruments.
Having said that, I'd encourage you to take any new routes that might appeal to you. Go where your heart leads you, and as a reader I'll follow.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-10 06:03 am (UTC)As for your writing, "Devil" was one of the first fics I read when I came to LJ. I still consider it as one of the best, and certainly my personal favorite. (If I remember correctly, there was some vague distant enticement of a sequel? I'm WAITING!) Just as it is difficult to watch medical TV shows and see glaringly obvious mistakes (Someone needs to teach Cuddy how to do an IM injection! Or was she trying for a bone marrow aspiration?!) it's hard for me to read fic that is medically unsound. I do grant a lot of grace...I know that not everyone has a medical background; however if I am trying to lose myself in a story, it's got to ring true. Glaring medical errors catch my attention and distract me from where the story is trying to take me. I can't help it, I can't turn it off. So from a technical standpoint, your writing flows for me and allows me to envelop myself in the fabric of the tale without getting whacked over the head with medical impossibilities. Nice...but not why I crave your writing. It's NOT repetitive. Truthfully, in real life friends are RARELY found to "stand guard lovingly" every day, day after day after day. People DO tend to wane in their support as time passes and there is no resolution to the issue of chronic pain. For me, the fact that Wilson IS there, supporting and caring is much more appealing because it represents friendship as *I* believe it should be. You write House and Wilson in a way that encourages me, it's representative of relationships the way I would have them. For that reason, at least for me there is little chance that the eggs are rotting.
Now, about that sequel...!! I'm 51. How long do I have to wait?!
Mick
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:35 pm (UTC)the sequel of which you speak? it's not for the devil trilogy; it's for the more things change, that house-gets-mrsa story. and believe it or not, i actually resumed work on it recently, so you may see it prior to your 60th!!! [and congrats on becoming a new mommy, btw; i'm praying for you and your family every night]
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:48 pm (UTC)(And thanks for the prayers, I know of little else quite so powerful!)
Blessings!
Mick
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:11 pm (UTC)Yes, there's a danger of getting "written out" (notice that I put it from your perspective--not from your readers' perspective, since I believe firmly that your readers would go on forever reading your 'one-note' pieces until, together, they formed a large, delightful symphony with a single leit motif.) So it really comes back to what you as a writer can continue to find to write about. I think it's useful to try the "Come as you aren't" approach that surfaces every Halloween:it's almost like permission to try on another costume, knowing it might not work and who cares? But failing that, I see nothing wrong with writing 100 variations on a single theme: after all, that's what a symphony is.
Good luck and keep at it.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-11 04:42 pm (UTC)i actually did that a few days ago, with Aiuto! (http://kidsnurse.livejournal.com/50722.html). i'd never in my life attempted writing anything approaching 'romance,' and i must say, i enjoyed it and was satisfied with the result.
but i must also admit to being much more comfortable last night, posting more angst-und-drung. :) i... don't deal well with change [and i also have a gift for understatement! hee].
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-14 09:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-11-25 06:40 pm (UTC)You let me remember a time when they were not mutually pathetic. A RELIEF, I tell you! Your ideas should be sold to the writers because they've obviously run out, which I simply have trouble imagining -- especially given that there are so many of them supposedly working together. Damn them and love you.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-25 08:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-06 09:30 pm (UTC)"I'd love to branch out, to fall in love with a second show" : please don't!!
"But tis is not going to happen" : whew!!
I am not every single day on the internet, but if I am , I look for your stories. I spent some months waiting for your LJ to be "alive " again, clicking on my favourites. So, please, keep going. Though I have nothing in common with House as a character,on the contrary of you, it's the only show which gave me a sort of dependence (from itself and from fanfictions - good fanfictions), so you can't let me down ^_^
You're not repetitive because your House and Wilson have "something" real people have, and since real life is usually unpredictable, your stories are
perfect in any of their aspects!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-07 08:39 pm (UTC)