This WASN'T in What To Expect!!!!! [personal entry]

[kidsnurse]

Just a quick note to God, or the Fates, or Whatever Else might be Out There:

If ANYONE had EVER mentioned SCIENCE FAIR PROJECTS to me, lo, these many years ago,

I WOULD HAVE REMAINED CHILDLESS!

also, there is not enough Ativan on the freakin' planet.

 

That is all. 

Comments

[pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com]

Take another pill and a big swig of coffee because it gets worse. Let me tell you about the year of the English project where I had to sew sock puppets and his dad built a puppet stage. There was no way on this earth any kid could have done that on his own. I'd love to know what his teacher was smoking when she dreamed that one up. And then there was the world history project where we had to draw maps by hand, color them and glue them to a beach ball. (This is where Mom's black belt skills in artful photocopying and providing tracing paper came in handy big time.)

I think we were fortunate with the science projects in that he always picked something that was more like consumer science. One year we all chewed different varieties of bubble gum and tested how far they'd stretch. Another year he tested milk to see if fat content affected how fast it would go bad in a cool, dark environment (under the bathroom cabinet).

The key to getting through this is to let the kid do what he can do, fix what you can, stay calm, and just try to get it looking tidy and nicely placed on the poster board. Colorful photographs are a great way to fill up space. Good luck!

[kidsnurse.livejournal.com]

stay calm

ah, but this implies that i am calm to start with. of course, if calm is synonymous with manic, maybe we're okay!

did i mention that i found out last night that this is due monday? and of course, the answer to 'why didn't you mention this before???' is the time-honored, 'but mom, i thought you knew.'

when i was growing up, participation in the science fair was voluntary. whenthehell did that change, and why wasn't i consulted?

[pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com]

Sometimes "focused manic" equals calm. :) Believe it or not, 99 percent of the other households in his grade are also having a freak-out this weekend.

I think at some point it generally became mandatory for middle school. Here it is voluntary in high school, and only the kids who intend to become doctors or scientists participate at that level.

[kidsnurse.livejournal.com]

"focused manic." i like that. i can even achieve that. maybe.

and he has also just handed me a lovely piece of paper to sign, and a frighteningly thick notebook containing 'vital information' about what must be completed for next month's Social Studies Fair. the topic he chose? George Washington: Cincinnatus Reborn

'koda, i don't even know what that means!'
'neither do i, but it was the first topic on the list.'

*is ded*

[angelfirenze.livejournal.com]

Another year he tested milk to see if fat content affected how fast it would go bad in a cool, dark environment (under the bathroom cabinet).

EW! How badly did your house begin to smell? Last year, my sister bought bottled milk that went bad too early and she was supposed to take it back for a refund, but didn't because she had to work and would forget. That milk sat in our refrigerator so long, the cream and whey started to separate, and then it simply decomposed altogether. And, of course, because it was in a glass bottle, we could see every stage! There's a science fair project for you!

[pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com]

It didn't smell bad, at least not at head level. I didn't bend over and sniff under the sink until it was time to throw the milk cups away. :) It only took four days to run the experiment, and the cups were covered with foil during it.

The decomposing milk bottle sounds really nasty. *shudders*

[angelfirenze.livejournal.com]

It was. *shudders* I'm the one who finally put it down the garbage disposal. *retches*